All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
