Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize