Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
