I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
she peed on how many people?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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