hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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