Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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