there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
