She is in my trunk
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
