So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Randomize
