he told me I talked like a deaf person
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
