Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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