smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
