my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
