It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
