She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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