And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
