Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
