At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
