How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize