honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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