and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I supernannyed him into submission
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