I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
