Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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