Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
im calling her cock vulture from now on
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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