I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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