I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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