There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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