You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
