Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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