When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
