so that wasnt chicken after all
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
