Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
