Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
