dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Randomize
