Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
