I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
