I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize