I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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