you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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