Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
