When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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