Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize