maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
