i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
