I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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