i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize