did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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