It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just sucked dick on a ferry
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
