Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
