Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
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