Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
