So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Well I just put wine in my tea
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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