your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Terrible idea I love it
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
