I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
