I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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