Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
