I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Non-Jews are for practice
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
how does that bad decision feel?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
