Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
