her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
