I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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