he wants to bone in the snuggie
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
