my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
