i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
