just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Text me some of your sweat
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
