On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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